a song by alison krauss has become very meaningful to me here in Malawi... It's called "A Living Prayer" and once again i play it and am comforted by knowing that there is One who holds my hand even though at times i seem to be quite alone...
Yesterday and today have been extraordinarily difficult. One of our employees whom i've worked closely with and considered a friend decided to end his life. Within 36 hours of death he is buried and it is essentially over. but i feel that this loss will linger on and it has been a blow to the staff at the hospital. Most are sad, some are angry that he didn't seek other help, all are questioning "why?". I don't have any answers and my heart aches that he felt this was his only solution to the troubles he faced.
Mostly this song expresses my desire to really BE a living prayer; that my life will be such that it brings honor to God and brings others to him. "Take my life and let me be a living prayer, my God to thee." That is my desire and that is the reason I exist.
the lyrics are as follows:
"A Living Prayer"
In this world I walk alone with no place to call my home
But there's One who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
This Savior lives inside me there
In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer my God to thee
In these trials of life I find
Another Voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives
In your love I find release
haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer my God to thee
take my life and let me be
A living prayer my God to thee
(http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alisonkrauss/alivingprayer.html)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
And..... I'm Back
Well I've officially been in Malawi a week now - hard to believe! I can say I am completely unpacked as well which is nice after living out of suitcases for two months! On the way back I spent 2.5 days in England with Clare (a friend working in Malawi from England). I got to see some of the countryside and have a real English experience. We visited Windsor Castle and Salisbury Cathedral as well as go to the pub for fish & chips, ride the train, eat tea at 4pm, and eat breakfast in the garden (i.e. back yard). It was fun and Clare's family were very hospitable.
Being back has brought a flood of unexpected emotions and thoughts but I am doing well now. I didn't expect to face the feelings I have, but with some prayers, tears, and encouragement from good friends I've moved through that and am just trying to be open to what God is teaching me here. Probably the biggest thing is just not expecting to be so overwhelmed so quickly!
It has been good to see my friends here in Malawi again. Things are still doing fairly well at the hospital. We have had some major personnel changes - one being the Business Manager who was called to our SDA clinic in Lilongwe. I worked very closely with him so this change has made a difference in my work. However the accountant has stepped up and filled in that role and is doing a good job. We are still making a profit year to date for which I am thankful and I can say this is probably one of the first years in MANY that there has been a positive net increase! Praise God!!
One sad note is that our car got broken into while Cristy and I were both gone. It was parked in front of our house and someone apparently was looking for a home stereo system so they took the stereo, speakers, battery, all of the cds, and broke the window to get in. It has made me a little more wary of my safety but also thankful to have a big dog sleeping by my bed while I'm alone!
Speaking of the dog - Bella - was well taken care of by Kelly and Wes & Chrislyn although I think she missed her mom. She has lost some weight and wasn't eating well but seems to be getting back to her self. Yesterday when I was putting away my suitcases she was worried and started hiccupping and whimpering thinking I was packing to leave again. Funny how animals are just as attached as we are to them! She will be good as new when Cristy gets back. Hobbes, the cat, mostly took care of himself and stayed around the house. Masa fed him every day but he was definitely glad to see me and I'm thankful that they are both back home and doing well.
I'm going to pick up Cristy from the airport on Sabbath. Masa has never been to the airport before (can you imagine??) so I am going to take him with me! Should be exciting for him! I will be happy to have her back and then the team here will be complete again.
God is certainly blessing although at times I struggle to know why it is so difficult for me. I think this is a part of my journey that I won't really understand for a while. I long so much to understand and be in the center of God's will but I'll never understand or see the big picture that God is creating.
There are good things happening in Malawi though - one big exciting piece of news is that Blantyre Adventist Hospital is officially COMPLETELY debt free! They have worked hard over the past 4 years and have finally reached this big goal! The work in Malawi is definitely moving ahead although there are so many road blocks. Yesterday we had a media team from the Hope Channel in South Africa doing some filming here and one of the gentlemen had been here about 4 years ago and he told me he can tell a big difference and improvement in the hospital since then! That is so encouraging to hear!
So thank you for your prayers and interest. Please continue to pray... some specific needs are:
*New Human Resource Manager
*New Business Manager
*Solution for good internet service
*funds for building/repairing housing
Being back has brought a flood of unexpected emotions and thoughts but I am doing well now. I didn't expect to face the feelings I have, but with some prayers, tears, and encouragement from good friends I've moved through that and am just trying to be open to what God is teaching me here. Probably the biggest thing is just not expecting to be so overwhelmed so quickly!
It has been good to see my friends here in Malawi again. Things are still doing fairly well at the hospital. We have had some major personnel changes - one being the Business Manager who was called to our SDA clinic in Lilongwe. I worked very closely with him so this change has made a difference in my work. However the accountant has stepped up and filled in that role and is doing a good job. We are still making a profit year to date for which I am thankful and I can say this is probably one of the first years in MANY that there has been a positive net increase! Praise God!!
One sad note is that our car got broken into while Cristy and I were both gone. It was parked in front of our house and someone apparently was looking for a home stereo system so they took the stereo, speakers, battery, all of the cds, and broke the window to get in. It has made me a little more wary of my safety but also thankful to have a big dog sleeping by my bed while I'm alone!
Speaking of the dog - Bella - was well taken care of by Kelly and Wes & Chrislyn although I think she missed her mom. She has lost some weight and wasn't eating well but seems to be getting back to her self. Yesterday when I was putting away my suitcases she was worried and started hiccupping and whimpering thinking I was packing to leave again. Funny how animals are just as attached as we are to them! She will be good as new when Cristy gets back. Hobbes, the cat, mostly took care of himself and stayed around the house. Masa fed him every day but he was definitely glad to see me and I'm thankful that they are both back home and doing well.
I'm going to pick up Cristy from the airport on Sabbath. Masa has never been to the airport before (can you imagine??) so I am going to take him with me! Should be exciting for him! I will be happy to have her back and then the team here will be complete again.
God is certainly blessing although at times I struggle to know why it is so difficult for me. I think this is a part of my journey that I won't really understand for a while. I long so much to understand and be in the center of God's will but I'll never understand or see the big picture that God is creating.
There are good things happening in Malawi though - one big exciting piece of news is that Blantyre Adventist Hospital is officially COMPLETELY debt free! They have worked hard over the past 4 years and have finally reached this big goal! The work in Malawi is definitely moving ahead although there are so many road blocks. Yesterday we had a media team from the Hope Channel in South Africa doing some filming here and one of the gentlemen had been here about 4 years ago and he told me he can tell a big difference and improvement in the hospital since then! That is so encouraging to hear!
So thank you for your prayers and interest. Please continue to pray... some specific needs are:
*New Human Resource Manager
*New Business Manager
*Solution for good internet service
*funds for building/repairing housing
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