Ok - I hate to admit it but this question has been going over and over in my head... is the work I'm doing here really making a difference? Am I accomplishing the purpose that I or the organization I'm representing had in mind? Now those of you who know me well, just wait! I don't mean to be-little what I have been doing and play it down. I know my Mom gets after me for not REALLY explaining what I ACTUALLY do when people ask - that is not what I'm trying to say here. But honestly I'm asking myself if I'm really accomplishing what I'm supposed to be doing. Maybe I need to look at my job description again - I don't know. But today we had an exit interview with our internal auditors who just finished auditing 2008. The final report is not out but suffice it to say that everything that was on the letter for 2007 reappeared with some additions for 2008. Our qualified opinion for 2007 did not improve! (For you that are not accountants this means that if it was an exam - we failed.) So maybe you can imagine some of why I'm questioning my effect here. Has any of my last 15 months of work made a difference? Maybe you are thinking that it has because they only audited through 2008 which was only about 5 months after I arrived. But the problem is that most of the items they pointed out have YET to be corrected!!!
I find it very difficult to know how to change a culture of this organization. How do we implement controls and motivators to get people to move from the lazes fare attitude into one of commitment and active participation in the mission of this hospital. I'm "all fired up" as some might say and ready to give 'em a piece of my mind. At the same time I can't do this alone and be the only one demanding good performance and results from our employees. I do feel the members of Administration are supportive and in tune with these changes but I'm struggling to find a way to communicate it to the staff members.
I find my "to-do" list growing too... big things like "customer service training for all staff" and "job evaluations for all staff" - which by the way first requires a training on how to properly evaluate an employee before evaluating all 200 employees. Another thing is policies for all departments. Wow! I think if I can do half of my list I'll feel good.
So yes - I'm still searching for the answer to my question. What is my role? How do I focus on these big things and let the every day items be handled by someone else? This is my daily challenge and I am learning about limits and commitments as well. I bet you didn't think mission work included things like this, huh? So when you pray for the "missionaries and colporteurs" tonight before you sleep you might have a different viewpoint of missionaries these days... and realize a little bit more clearly what kinds of things we struggle with. Thank you, by the way, for those prayers. I think that is what keeps me from losing it some days!
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Welcome, at last, to the true Africa Elisa!
I have read through your blogs, your hopes and your visions, and I guess you are probably slowly moving towards the reality that those of us faced who spent a lifetime there.
I lived in Africa for 57 years, loved every moment of it and loved the people of Africa. I travelled widely, teaching in Zambia, Zimbabwe, Malawi and South Africa. I travelled countless times through Mozambique.
Africa is a mess, and that is why you are there - to help those who are suffering as a consequence of that mess. There are many good African people who are there to help you, I am sure. But it is an uphill battle, nevertheless it is worth doing your best for the people of Africa.
I shall never forget standing in a queue in the National Bank in Limbe ten years back. Behind me stood a Catholic nun from Germany. Naturally, like anywhere else in Africa, we fell into conversation while we waited our turn at the counter.
She told me she worked for a Catholic relief agency down in the Shire valley. She was involved in an AIDS programme down there.I asked her if she had been able to have much success in teaching young people how to avoid falling a victim to HIV. She replied "not much. But if I teach just one person to live a pure life I will have fulfilled my task here in Malawi".
I have never forgotten her words - neither do I ever forget the words of Jesus in Matthew 25: 31-46.
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